so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
