If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
