I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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