words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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