im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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