All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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