Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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