I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to calm my uterus...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
