i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
