nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
