Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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