Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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