An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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