Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
