She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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