Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
