thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
