I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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