I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
