So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
