Sponge bath it is.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
