mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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