Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize