OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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