I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
