I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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