I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
