PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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