Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
