Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
