last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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