don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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