I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
