Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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