I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't think brook has ever known best
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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