her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize