I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize