Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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