As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
