Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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