Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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