If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
