that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
