I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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