I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
