At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
