he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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