matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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