Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just want to make out with him forever
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
