i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
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