What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Small penises have feelings too.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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