You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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