just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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