i don't like sucking hair
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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