every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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