is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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