I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
