I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
