did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
