my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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