Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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