If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
