the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.