physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
