theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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