Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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