so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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