yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
