Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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